{hope} in the midst of struggle, He is there.

Let's see if I can even form the words to share this. 

I've been struggling and avoiding my writing to the Lord for fear that the pain would be too overwhelming. The last time I wrote, I was still pregnant. I did sense something was not right but we did not have the answer yet. Well, today I have been overwhelmed by His presence and His Spirit pulling me to His word. When the pain came like a crashing wave I had to stop for the tears were too great. I began to write the names of those who reached out to me in all this, praying for each of them and their families, while being so grateful for their willingness to be Jesus in my life. 

Then I came to a friend who sent a thoughtful gift. Her card was beautiful and her words so sweet in the midst of pain. She also sent a ring, pictured above. On it is written Romans 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." A verse I have heard many times, as I'm sure so have you. When frozen once again, I began to wonder what verses are written around this one so familiar. 

{Can I tell you that I was trembling as I began to open His word? There is just something so powerful about His written word to us.}

I think I need to back up a bit and share something with you.  The last time I wrote was on July 29th.  It was still a time of uncertainty.  I was pregnant, yes, but there were pains and unexplained bleeding and test results that did not give clear answers.  No matter the outcome, there would be challenges.  A loss or adding another little one to our family. 

On July 29th I wrote:

"...You already know the outcome, Lord-prepare my heart for what is to come.

Pslam 71 ♥
v5 "For you, O Lords, are my hope'
v9"...forsake me not when my strength is spent."
v17 "O God, from my youth You have taught me, and I still proclaim Your wondrous deeds."
v19 "Your righteousness, Oh God, reaches the high heavens." "

Hope.

And this morning as I opened the Word to Romans 8 the heading above v18 struck me: "Future Glory".  

{Ok, Jesus.  Let's start there.  Please be near me.}

Oh I thought my heart would bounce right out of my chest as I began to read...

v18 "For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us..."  hope.

v24 "For in this hope we were saved.  Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees?" hope.

v25 "But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience." hope.

Oh friends, I am shaking now.  His presence and love is so overwhelming in moments like this. {tears}  My soul was dry and felt like it might just cease to exist and then He comes and pours life back into me.  me.  Far from deserving this hope and life and newness.    

I began to copy those verses while the tears just flowed.  And then this came...

v26 "Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness.  For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words." hope.

And there it is.  I have no words.  I'll leave you with the song below.  hope.

only His,

marcey♥

 

"The Glorious Unfolding"

by Steven Curtis Chapman 

 Lay your head down tonight
Take a rest from the fight
Don’t try to figure it out
Just listen to what I’m whispering to your heart
‘Cause I know this is not
Anything like you thought
The story of your life was gonna be
And it feels like the end has started closing in on you
But it’s just not true
There’s so much of the story that’s still yet to unfold

And this is going to be a glorious unfolding
Just you wait and see and you will be amazed
You’ve just got to believe the story is so far from over
So hold on to every promise God has made to us
And watch this glorious unfolding

God’s plan from the start
For this world and your heart
Has been to show His glory and His grace
Forever revealing the depth and the beauty of
His unfailing Love
And the story has only begun

And this is going to be a glorious unfolding
Just you wait and see and you will be amazed
We’ve just got to believe the story is so far from over
So hold on to every promise God has made to us
And watch this glorious unfolding

We were made to run through fields of forever
Singing songs to our Savior and King
So let us remember this life we’re living
Is just the beginning of the beginning

Of this glorious unfolding
We will watch and see and we will be amazed
If we just keep on believing the story is so far from over
And hold on to every promise God has made to us
We’ll see the glorious unfolding

Just watch and see (unfolding)
This is just the beginning of the beginning (unfolding)

dear sweet one.

dear sweet one,

I went to lunch with Daddy and Asher today.  Thought since your other siblings were with your grandparents we should get out and see the outside world for a bit. I even showered and put on makeup! *gasp* I wore my yellow scarf to brighten my day and remind me of you - sort of a way to still take you with me.

I felt sick this morning and could not bring myself to eat so by 2pm I was ready for some food!  Daddy and I settled on a steak house with yummy cheese fries - that's what I really wanted. *smile*  Sadly, I couldn't eat much; guess my appetite is not fully back yet.

Anyway, what I really wanted to tell you was after lunch Daddy treated me to a pedicure - such a sweet thought!  I chose yellow for you.  I can honestly say I have never put yellow on my nails - ever.  Until you. I'm more of a pink or red kind of girl, but I'm enjoying this change.

So, it sure felt good to have these momma feet scrubbed and lookin' pretty.  I did ask the sweet lady if she would do a flower on my big toes.  I wanted a little something special to make my heart smile when I saw it.  She got right to it and I was surprised by how much I liked it.  She started with black for the pedals - and I thought, yikes, Mizzou colors.  Not what I was going for.  She then added some red and bam - loved it.  Yellow and pretty designs - LOVE.

It was not 'till I was back in the van that I noticed a bit more - five beautiful white steaks at the top of each big toe {btw, your Mommy does not like the word toe, just sounds so weird and then put the word big in front of it and so unpretty. Ha!}.  

But, five.  Now that is a word I like.  You are our fifth little one.

Oh goodness - Jesus amazes me!!

It is those sweet, unexpected, unexplainable, simple, seemingly small - yet not small - moments that remind me our Lord cares about every. little. thing.

i love you

& miss you

~mommy

the unknown.

Whoa.  This is one big, white, blank space that seems to be waiting for all these words in my heart to come spilling out; spill out like a can of bright blue paint waiting for some 2 year old to knock over.  The thing is though, I am beyond words for what has been happening these past 18 months since my last blog post.  Actually, forget the last 18 months, more like just the last two months alone are hard to express. 

Well, now there are letters filling this bright white and it seems a little less intimidating. Just a little. 

God is stirring up great things in my heart.  Things that are wild and beyond my own strength, like far beyond my own strength.  Crazy things that, if I'm being completely honest with myself (and you), seem totally impossible and terribly scary.  But, isn't that how we know sometimes it is of God?  That is is far beyond our own reach?  Cause, who are we kidding, really.  If it was within our own grasp we would just do it ourselves without calling on the One who is capable of all things.

So there it is.  The beginning of this crazy adventure, typed out for someone to read.  And also, here lies just another piece to this million piece puzzle.  I cannot wait to see what He has in store!

only His,

marcey ♥

our busy day.

My son loves to write stories and I certainly enjoy hearing what is in that little mind of his.  Here is his most recent assignment where he was to tell about a particularly busy day of ours.  It just so happened, that yesterday was that day.  These are his exact words.  No editing. (:  Enjoy! 

Noah, age 6

Our Busy Day 

 by Noah Combs

A sunny, Monday morning, I got up and got dressed and had breakfast.  After I got done eating breakfast, I got ready for school.  I did math and handwriting and we did language arts.  Then after we were done doing school we went to Columbia at 11:15am.  We ate lunch in the car.  I had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich while my mom was reading me Pooh Corner.  Then when it was time to go inside to the doctor, we went inside and sat down.  And Mommy talked to a lady about Lilly’s appointment then after that she came and sat down for a while.  Then the doctor came.  She checked Lilly’s ears and take her temperature.  And the lady said her left ear was worse than her right ear.  Then we went to pay and me and Taylor got a sticker.

Then we left to Schnuck’s for Lilly’s medicine.  While we were waiting for Lilly’s medicine to get ready, we bought some groceries.  Then after we were done buying groceries we went and picked up Lilly’s medicine then we left to JC Penny’s.  Then we went to return one of Lilly’s dresses that Grandma bought her because it was too small then we bought her a new one.  And we paid for the new dress then we went home.  Then we got home at 3pm.  And when we got home Lilly and Taylor fell asleep.  And Mommy brought them into bed. After she was done putting them to bed, me and Mommy finished school.  Me and Mommy cleaned up the living room.  Mommy worked on dinner.  Mommy made chicken pot pie for me, Mommy and Daddy and Lilly and Taylor.  Then after that me and Taylor had our chocolate.  And Lilly took a bath.

Before Mommy made dinner, and before Daddy got home from work, me and Taylor were playing in our room and when Daddy got home we went out to see him and give him a hug.  And after that I went back into my room to play. 

Mommy said, “You don’t have to be in here.” 

And I said, “Ok.” 

Mommy said, “I would appreciate it if you would clean up your room for me.”

I think I said, “Ok” or maybe not.  Anyway, I cleaned up my room for Mommy. 

Later that night, Mommy told me and Taylor that we could watch a movie.  It was a Veggie Tale movie.  After the movie was over Mommy told us we could watch a Christmas movie and we watched a movie about Santa.  After the movie was over me and Taylor went into the living room.  Daddy asked us to get dressed and ready for bed.  Me and Taylor got dressed and ready for bed.  Then we went to bed.  And Daddy prayed with us and Mommy came in and prayed with us.  And before all that happened, Mommy was making Taylor’s stocking.  Mommy almost finished it.  After Mommy prayed with me and Taylor, me and Taylor fell asleep. The End.