This week I came across a blog that told about children in another country that were, basically, being starved to death. Some of these babies & kids have downs syndrome and have been left to lay in a bed, not being held or touched, only given a glass beer bottle with a nipple attached and filled with a liquid with very little substance. I cried and cried when I read the horrible stories. Last night when I was talking to Alan I had to stop talking because I began to cry. Lord, I want to do something but I do not know what. I want to adopt one of those children, but do I have the means to care for them? I need Your direction.
It's in situations such as theirs that I start to question why you don't destroy the world. How can someone treat little ones like this? I live in such a comfortable, safe bubble here in the US, in our safe, small town. I almost feel guilt over it but I know that is not from You.
I am making changes in the way I live so we can get out of debt and better be able to serve Your people in a financial way. So, until that day, I will pray and pray and change in ways You lay upon my heart.
One example is I want to stop being dependent on make up-that is money much better spent on others. My self-worth should not come from my appearance. Another thing you have brought to mind is Noah's schooling. Should we send him to a private school? Or is that a selfish act on our part? I need direction for this decision. I thought I would get a 'sign' at the open house the other night but I didn't. It only felt more awkward. I trust in You for guidance. I {and I know Alan does too} want Your will for Noah, and all our kids, so we are willing to do what You would want us to.
Thank you for Your tremendous blessings You have placed on my life. Sometimes I wonder why because I know nothing I have done merits such wealth. ♥Your Daughter
