thoughts

Just a few thoughts today as I sit here.

*My 15 week little one is about the size of an apple.  I love apples!  Last week we got a chance to see our little baby and it was wonderful!  Noah and Taylor went with us too!  The sono tech said she didn't see any boy parts but because it was so early she cautioned against running out to buy pink stuff yet.  Can I tell you that I cried?!  Happy tears of course. 

*Our family vacation at The Great Wolf Lodge has been wonderful.  The boys (all 3) loved the water park and I am so thankful for how relaxing our time here has been.  I am also thankful for each second I got to spend with Alan.  Family vacations will happen every year for sure now!

*Watching Noah's face as we pulled into the parking lot at the lodge was priceless!!  I wish I had thought to record it.  We only told him in March that at some point we would be coming here but didn't tell him when.  We picked up Daddy from work on Wednesday and drove straight here.  As we drove near, Noah said, "Some day we will go there on vacation!"  And boy was he shocked when some day became that day!

*I love spring!  The warm weather and green every where warms my heart!

*Today is Good Friday and I found myself thinking about Jesus' sacrifice as I woke up.  Wow!  That is all I can say about that.  It's hard to put into words what today, and this weekend, mean to me.

*I have the best in-laws in the WORLD!  I loved spending time with them last weekend.  And I miss my sis-in-law.

*This last week has been such a blessing.  Yes, the whole week and a few days.  I had felt so blah and lonely.  Our schedule had been so packed with doing this and doing that; it seemed there was no time for sitting and relaxing as a family, all together.  Thank you Lord for the chance to slow down and spend time together.  What wonderful memories!

*And last, it is 9:30am and my baby is still asleep!!  It is our last day at Great Wolf and I think Taylor is plum worn out!  He looks so cute sleeping in the bottom bunk.  I promise to post pictures soon! (:  Daddy and Noah are spending the last hour or so at the water park.  {This quiet time is great!}

Happy Easter, everyone!

hello again.

Well, I have been MIA from the blog world for a while. So, let me start back in January and I'll explain.  I was expecting that certain monthly gift and each day that went by it still failed to show up.  Four tests later and now 8 days late still nothing.  I wasn't sure what to think.  Honestly, I was getting excited.  Alan and I had not talked about having another baby but this would have been a great surprise!  On the 9th day it came and I was crushed.  I got my hopes us and a flood of emotions hit me.  It felt so similar to the miscarriage I had in March of 2008 (although I was not able to confirm that I was pregnant this time like in '08).  I know most women can relate to the feeling of wanting that so bad and then being let down when it doesn't happen.  I spent some time crying, asking God why, and wondering what had happened.  Each day I continued to pray, God let your will be done and I will trust you.  Every day I gave my worries and burdens back to the One who could carry them because I was (and still am) very good and taking those worries and burdens back.

Alan was so compassionate during those weeks that I was a mess.  I cannot wrap my head around how blessed I am to have him as my best friend.  He knew that he couldn't understand how I felt but he understood it was a big deal to me and he was going to be there for me.  To say I am thankful for him would be a great understatement.  One night, while I was lying there with tears rolling down my face, he said, "Maybe we can start trying now."  (Can I tell you that made me melt and bawl all at the same time!?)  I love him!  And really, that helped me a lot. 

God continues to amaze me with his perfect timing and His will is always best.  Saturday, February 5th, I opened up to our small group about my struggle and why I was struggling.  I told them about the let down at the beginning of January and how I felt stuck, wondering where God was.  Have you ever felt that way?  Like you were in a pit just waiting for help that seemed to never come? 

I mentioned the date that I shared with my small group because that following Monday, February 7th, I took a test and this time I saw two pink lines!!!  I was seriously jumping up and down in the bathroom!  I was so excited I couldn't wait till Alan got home to tell someone so I told Noah, our 4 year old.  He was almost as excited as I was.  It was a good day.  This would be the first pregnancy we actually 'planned'.

My husband is not the type that shows excitement in a big way so, in true Alan fashion, he smiled and said, "Alright" with a little laugh when he saw the test laying in the bathroom.  (No, I'm wasn't very creative.  I was too excited!)  His reaction made me smile.  Have I said I love him?  Cause I do!

Well, there it is.  That is the reason I have not been blogging.  Feeling sick and tired have taken up most of my time.  Oh, and chasing my growing boys around every where.  More to come!  (Almost forgot!  Little Mr. or Miss should be here mid-October!)

snow babies

On Saturday I finally thought it would be somewhat warm enough outside to let my two little guys go play in the snow!  This was Taylor's first in the snow experience and he was very excited.  Part of the reason he had not been out yet was because I did not have snow gear that would fit him and I could not get myself to buy something that he may only use once, you know? 

So anyway, I dug through the box of winter clothes that were Noah's and found a pair of snow boot that were three sizes too big for T and snow pants that were only one size too big.  To complete his outfit, he wore two jackets {one for warmth and the other was waterproof} and two pairs of glove.  Can you say over protective mommy?  Well, this is the final result:

Noah, of course, was already outside rolling around in the snow.  Last year we bought Noah's extra big so he could wear it again this year. {You may think that is silly, but my Dave Ramsey On Steroids Dad would think that is the only way to go!}  So he was set and had been outside in the snow many times already this winter season. 

Taylor could not wait to get out there and play with Daddy and Doah {this is how T says his name, so cute!}.  Here are a few more pictures from the day:

This is what Taylor wanted to do the most...lay in the snow and eat it!

My little snow bug

Noah loves being outside!

Helping Daddy shovel the drive way

what is next?

Well, I am not very good at keeping up with this blog.  I love reading my friends blogs and admire how well written and beautiful they always look.  I tend to think that is something I could ever do.  I mean, my life isn't really that interesting...what in the world do I have to tell the world? {or whomever reads this}  So today I thought I would just write about what is on my heart.  And my heart is wondering: What is next? 

What is next?  Honestly, I do not know.  God knows, I am sure of that, but He has not felt the need to clue me in yet.  And so here I am, waiting.  I am not even sure what I am waiting for.  Have you ever felt that way?  Just waiting?  Or am I alone in this feeling?  I find myself thinking I am alone, but then I am reminded that He is always there and He has a beautiful plan for my life.  This is something I know but I am struggling to believe it. 

At this very moment, I feel thankful for this waiting period, for the Bible says, "Those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:31 [NKJV]  

Wow!!!  That is what I want!  Renewed strength in and of its self sounds so refreshing and then you add eagles, running, and walking without becoming tired...that is the kind of strength I need.  So I will be thankful for this time of waiting.  God is faithful...always.  And He will renew my strength.