Friday, April 27, 2012

new face.

Thanks to my super handsome hubby {click here for his blog}, my blog now has a new look!  Let me know what you think with a little comment below.

Enjoy your weekend and hug your family!

the Lord's,
marcey ♥ 


Ever felt just...blah?  Ugh, it can be a discouraging feeling for sure.  And that has been my week.

I shared part of my story twice over the past weekend {to a large number of strangers} and boy, that took a lot out of me.  So really, I think that is the reason for just feeling out of it...that and my baby girl has decided that once again that sleep is not important.  Oh, and my man and I have been staying up way too late talking {but those times are SO worth it!}.

I am still trying to decide if sharing that part of my life here on the ole blog is a good idea or not.  Honestly, I have been feeling a bit down about that whole thing.  It's almost like the dreaded shame monster is coming back to sit with me for a while.  God and I have been talking about that quite a bit lately.  It's just something I have to work through as my past is brought back into the light.  Part of it might also be that now a large portion of my family knows about my past sin and I am a bit afraid they see me differently now.  Yep, that has to be it because as I typed that tears began to fall from my eyes.

On a happy note, I can already see how God is using the bad for good.  I have had several people reach out to me and begin to share their story too.  Never in my life did I think my worst actions could be used for His glory, but that was just my humanness talking and not realizing how great He is.

So, if you think of me, please pray for me. Don't worry, I have not lost hope and I most certainly have not let go of my Savior's hand.  Just in a funk and my God is bigger than any funk I might be in.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose."
Romans 8:28

the Lord's,
marcey ♥

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

from my heart.

Ever had something strange happen to you and at first it seemed very annoying?  I know I have.  In fact something like that happened this morning before the sun even chose to make an appearance, but I'll get to that in a minute.

As someone who has 'grown up in the church' I knew that a good Christian is supposed to read their Bible and pray everyday.  I believed it was another one of those things I should do just so I can check it off on my list.  But no matter how hard I tried, I could never be consistent past like 3 days!  Just 3 days and then I would find that months would pass before I read my Bible for anything other than a church service or group study.  Why is that?  It sure isn't because the Bible isn't interesting...oh man, if you just read some of the things in there!

To be honest, I'm not all that sure why I didn't except that maybe I didn't understand what it meant to have a real relationship with the one and only God.  And I know I carried some pride in my heart too...thought I could do this life thing on my own.  That mindset now terrifies me.

{I have to add this.  Just now, I heard little foot steps across the floor up stairs and then a little bum sliding down each stair.  The an adorable little face peered around the corner and met my eyes. I said, "Taylor!!" And that little guy took off running as fast as he could into my arms...Ahhh!  SO much love I cannot handle it!}

I should also tell you I thought praying, unless there was a great need like sickness or money, was for old people.  Yes, old everyone gets the chance to become an old person.  So having a prayer life would be something I would do when I got older and didn't have much else to do.  Is this makin' sense to anybody?

Well, I'll tell you were my selfish pride took me...flat on my face.  The life that I was so certain I could do on my own crumbled and I fell so far I was unsure that I could ever get up.  I promise to share more of my story another time.  {still asking God for courage to actually post that here} I slowly began to realize that the God I thought was far off and too busy for someone like me desperately wanted to know me and my heart.  He wanted to hear from me every day and through out my day.  He wanted to know what made me laugh and why I cried.  He as I mess and all.  I remember the first day I picked up my Bible and actually began reading it as if God was speaking to me.  Sweet memories. (:  It reminds me a bit of when my man and I started dating.  We didn't know much about each other but it was sure exciting to just be together and get to know one another more and more with each conversation.  And that was so my experience with God. {Except he already knew me.}

So finally, God and I began getting to know one another.  He is far more wonderful than I ever realized.  It is like being with someone that compliments you all the time, is constantly lifting you up with encouraging words and love.  My time with God is like water for my dry and parched soul.  That time is a need if I am to get through my day with out seriously hurting someone.

I tell you all this to encourage someone reading to begin to get to know God.  I mean really know Him.  Not just what you have been taught, or what you thought you knew, or what your pastor tells you He is or isn't but get to know Him for yourself.  And there is never a better time than now!  Just open up His Word and start reading. (:

So are you still wondering what the strange thing was that happened this morning?  Well, I have a hard time waking up in the morning.  I am most certainly not a morning person.  So, when I began to spend time with God, I did it when my two boys were napping {more on that later, as well}.  Lately, God has been asking me to make Him my first priority in my day and I have really struggled to get up before the rest of my family and spend time with Him.

Anyway, my husband has a hard time getting up when his first alarm goes off so he also sets a second one-fifteen minutes apart.  When I got up to nurse Lilly at 2am, God impressed upon my heart that I should get up and start my day with Him.  Well, I must have been sleeping too long because Alan's alarm went off at 5:15am and then again at 5:30am.

I said, "Hunny, why on earth is your alarm going off so early?"

"It's not set to go off till 6:15am and 6:30am," he replied.

And sure enough, he showed my and no alarm was set for 5am anything!  As I rolled back over, trying to go back to sleep, God reminded me..."Get up!"  Hahaha (:  I have no other explanation than the alarm was for me.  So I listened and got up.  Oh my friend, it was so worth it!  God is faithful...always.  And just like Taylor ran into my arm at the first sight of his mommy, I want to run into my Savoir's arms first thing every morning!  His hugs are the best!

" 7 ...blessed are those who trust in the Lord,
whose confidence is in Him.
8 They will be like a tree planted by the water 
that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes; 
its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
and never fails to bear fruit."
Jeremiah 17: 7-8 TNIV

Sunday, April 15, 2012

i come guilty.

So full right now.  So very full!  Uh, no I'm not talking about food; I'm talking Holy Spirit kind of full...the best kind!  This past Friday and Saturday I was privileged enough to hear God speak through Beth Moore and Travis Cottrell.!  I hope to write more another day about what changed in my heart during those two days but for right now I want to share these words with you.  It is from a song that Travis lead on Saturday, an old hymn with a bit added to it:

Just As I Am by Travis Cottrell

Just as I am, without one plea,
But that Thy blood was shed for me,
And that Thou bidst me come to Thee,
O Lamb of God, I come, I come.

Just as I am, and waiting not
To rid my soul of one dark blot,
To Thee whose blood can cleanse each spot,
O Lamb of God, I come, I come.

I come broken to be mended
I come wounded to be healed
I come desperate to be rescued
I come empty to be filled
I come guilty to be pardoned
by the blood of Christ the Lamb
And I’m welcomed with open arms,
praise God just as I am.

Just as I am, I would be lost,
But mercy and grace my freedom bought,
And now to glory in your cross,
O Lamb of God, I come, I come.

If you are brave enough, let the words of the refrain soak in: I come broken, I come desperate, I come guilty and praise God I am welcomed just as I am.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

my loves.

What can I say?  My hubby's talent behind (or in front) of the camera is growing!  
Love these moments he was able to capture of our family Easter day.