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Tuesday, April 17, 2012

from my heart.

Ever had something strange happen to you and at first it seemed very annoying?  I know I have.  In fact something like that happened this morning before the sun even chose to make an appearance, but I'll get to that in a minute.



As someone who has 'grown up in the church' I knew that a good Christian is supposed to read their Bible and pray everyday.  I believed it was another one of those things I should do just so I can check it off on my list.  But no matter how hard I tried, I could never be consistent past like 3 days!  Just 3 days and then I would find that months would pass before I read my Bible for anything other than a church service or group study.  Why is that?  It sure isn't because the Bible isn't interesting...oh man, if you just read some of the things in there!

To be honest, I'm not all that sure why I didn't except that maybe I didn't understand what it meant to have a real relationship with the one and only God.  And I know I carried some pride in my heart too...thought I could do this life thing on my own.  That mindset now terrifies me.

{I have to add this.  Just now, I heard little foot steps across the floor up stairs and then a little bum sliding down each stair.  The an adorable little face peered around the corner and met my eyes. I said, "Taylor!!" And that little guy took off running as fast as he could into my arms...Ahhh!  SO much love I cannot handle it!}

I should also tell you I thought praying, unless there was a great need like sickness or money, was for old people.  Yes, old people...like everyone gets the chance to become an old person.  So having a prayer life would be something I would do when I got older and didn't have much else to do.  Is this makin' sense to anybody?

Well, I'll tell you were my selfish pride took me...flat on my face.  The life that I was so certain I could do on my own crumbled and I fell so far I was unsure that I could ever get up.  I promise to share more of my story another time.  {still asking God for courage to actually post that here} I slowly began to realize that the God I thought was far off and too busy for someone like me desperately wanted to know me and my heart.  He wanted to hear from me every day and through out my day.  He wanted to know what made me laugh and why I cried.  He wanted...me...just as I am...my mess and all.  I remember the first day I picked up my Bible and actually began reading it as if God was speaking to me.  Sweet memories. (:  It reminds me a bit of when my man and I started dating.  We didn't know much about each other but it was sure exciting to just be together and get to know one another more and more with each conversation.  And that was so my experience with God. {Except he already knew me.}

So finally, God and I began getting to know one another.  He is far more wonderful than I ever realized.  It is like being with someone that compliments you all the time, is constantly lifting you up with encouraging words and love.  My time with God is like water for my dry and parched soul.  That time is a need if I am to get through my day with out seriously hurting someone.

I tell you all this to encourage someone reading to begin to get to know God.  I mean really know Him.  Not just what you have been taught, or what you thought you knew, or what your pastor tells you He is or isn't but get to know Him for yourself.  And there is never a better time than now!  Just open up His Word and start reading. (:

So are you still wondering what the strange thing was that happened this morning?  Well, I have a hard time waking up in the morning.  I am most certainly not a morning person.  So, when I began to spend time with God, I did it when my two boys were napping {more on that later, as well}.  Lately, God has been asking me to make Him my first priority in my day and I have really struggled to get up before the rest of my family and spend time with Him.

Anyway, my husband has a hard time getting up when his first alarm goes off so he also sets a second one-fifteen minutes apart.  When I got up to nurse Lilly at 2am, God impressed upon my heart that I should get up and start my day with Him.  Well, I must have been sleeping too long because Alan's alarm went off at 5:15am and then again at 5:30am.

I said, "Hunny, why on earth is your alarm going off so early?"

"It's not set to go off till 6:15am and 6:30am," he replied.

And sure enough, he showed my and no alarm was set for 5am anything!  As I rolled back over, trying to go back to sleep, God reminded me..."Get up!"  Hahaha (:  I have no other explanation than the alarm was for me.  So I listened and got up.  Oh my friend, it was so worth it!  God is faithful...always.  And just like Taylor ran into my arm at the first sight of his mommy, I want to run into my Savoir's arms first thing every morning!  His hugs are the best!

" 7 ...blessed are those who trust in the Lord,
whose confidence is in Him.
8 They will be like a tree planted by the water 
that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes; 
its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
and never fails to bear fruit."
Jeremiah 17: 7-8 TNIV

3 comments:

  1. You are so great! And spot on.

    I am realizing lately that I think quiet times intimidate me, which is why I go through periods where I'm really great at doing them every day, and then periods where I don't spend time with Him for weeks.

    I think this idea of it having to be an 30/45/60 minutes long is what intimidates me. But you know, He loves being with us and our undivided attention on Him, even if it's for 5 minutes. He just wants to be with us. Obviously the "longer" quiet times are deeper and better (for me!), but I fully believe there's grace on the days that it's just not feasible for that to happen.

    Love you... and love your journey!

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  2. WOW! this truly moved me today! My eyes are full with tears. God is so wonderful to show us just what he wants us to do. He always makes a way. Thank your for being obedient! God is so faithful! Thanks for sharing from your heart!

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